The Choice

Last Friday, I sang at a wedding with my friends from Gala Quintet. This after a few months without any gig. It seems like we all got busy with our own lives and it so happened, we had no bookings either. See how the universe accommodates our priorities?

I, for one, was everywhere. Between March and July, I managed to fly four times! Two of those went all they way to Europe and back. The other two were a bit closer to home – Japan and my hometown for my mother’s retirement party. Just thinking about it makes me dizzy. Thus, I am now on travel hiatus until further notice. I never thought I’d say this but, apparently I have reached my limits. Besides, there’s too many typhoons lately and flying will not be easy on me.

And so, the universe probably thought it was time to take me back to that other thing I love – singing. My group mostly sings in weddings. We all met in college and were members of a choir. We all graduated and ended up in different fields, but singing kept us together. I sing soprano for the group.

It was a hellish day for me. I haven’t been sleeping well since I got back from London almost a month ago. The wedding was two hours south of Manila. I was still suffering from a cough with very thick phlegm stuck in my throat. The weather sucked, it rained the whole day. On the way back, we were stuck in traffic for three hours.

Okay, enough whining.

After the rollercoaster that was, all I crave for now is rest and the luxury of doing nothing. I owe it to myself to invest time in self care. It seems to me that our world is only getting busier by the day and slowing down is now an alien concept.

I, however, would like to be different. I am not one of those people who are proud to be so busy all the time. I do not like being labeled a workaholic. In a very fast-paced work environment, I prefer to take my time to get the right kind of results. I also believe in spending just the right amount of time in the office, because there will always be something to deliver at work.

I wasn’t always like this. Back in 2009, after a really horrible heartbreak, I would spend 16-hour days in the office. I was also just a new leader, without both level 1 and 2 managers so I took it upon myself to look after the team. I was eager to learn and figured, working is better than wallowing. This went on for a few years.

Then came my new boss and my very first mentor as a leader. She was quite the organized person and being strategic and precise was what I learned from her. She also helped me grow into self awareness at a time I needed it the most. Best of all, she embedded in my skull the idea that working yourself to death will never ever benefit anyone.

The turning point came one night, after another 16-hour round and there was no sign I was leaving anytime soon. My boss went to my desk, forced me to log off my machine, walked me out of the building all the way to the bus stop. She said she wanted to see me get on the bus so she is sure I will not go back to the office that evening. It is quite laughable when I remember it, but she drove her point home.

After that, I stopped being the slave that I was. To this day, I rarely spend more time than I have to be in the office. I only stay if I absolutely must. This mindset was even more justified when I got retrenched in 2012. The saying that work is a rubber ball could not have been more apt. Work is a rubber ball which will bounce back and will never break. The other balls – family, health, spirit/integrity and friends – are made of glass. Once broken, they can never be the same.

So really, I hope that everytime there is a choice to make between too much work and yourself, I hope you choose yourself.

2 thoughts on “The Choice

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